Scott Postma

A blog about the Great Books, the Craft of Writing, and Human Flourishing.

Unsuspecting Marriage Hazards- Plus, My Five Favorite Posts!

Someone once described marriage as a dialogue.

The first year, the husband talks and the wife listens. The second year, the wife talks and the husband listens. The third year, they both talk and the neighbors listen.

No wonder more and more millennials are avoiding the commitment of holy matrimony, or at least saving it until the last possible moment.

It’s true marriage is hard.

There are storms to endure. But there are also sunsets and rainbows.

Those who are willing to weather the tempests and stay the course will discover there are pots of gold at the end of every rainbow and a golden sunset that only the faithful are privileged to witness.

Many start the journey thinking love is all they need. They believe love is both their motivation and sustenance. And if they simply avoid the big rocks like infidelity, bitterness, and unforgiveness, they will be fine.

It’s true love is essential, and the big rocks are dangerous and must be avoided; but navigating the marriage waters requires skill, patience, and insight, among other virtues.

Skill in marriage requires training and practice.

It comes with learning the laws of human behavior and relationships, and then practicing them well over a substantial amount of time.

Patience is a virtue that can only be acquired by experience.

We grow in patience when we trust the compass whenever the winds are high and the waves are boisterous, and then come through safely on the other side—again and again.

Insight is gained by observation.

We can read books about marriage, attend retreats and seminars, and these are truly helpful. But we only achieve insight when the principles and observations that are common in all marriages are realized in our particular contexts.

In other words, we gain useful insight if we learn to see where patterns (both good and bad) that exist in every marriage are showing up in our own.

After 24 years of marriage and nearly the same counseling and being counseled, I’ve learned that besides the obvious (i.e. infidelity, etc.), there are some other—some profound and not-so-obvious—hazards to our marriages.

These are like the reefs of an iceberg under the water when just the tip is visible. Believe me, they can tear a hole in side of a healthy marriage just the same as the obvious hazards. But they’re even more dangerous because they are obscure.

Passengers on the Titanic learned this lesson too well.

I’d like to share with you what I believe are the top five inconspicuous hazards to every marriage.

If you’re interested in learning what they are and how to avoid them, you can sign up here to receive this exclusive series that will be sent directly in your email inbox.

It’s absolutely free. There’s no cost whatsoever to sign up. It’s my investment into your golden sunset.

I won’t be posting these articles on the blog. They are exclusively for those who feel they could benefit from these profound insights.

Here’s the link again. It takes just a second to sign up.


And since it’s Friday, here are my five favorite posts of the week:

Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy

Okay, so this first one is not actually a blog post. But it’s hands down one of the best books I’ve ever read on marriage. It will challenge your thinking on the whole purpose of our most holy matrimony.

An Interview with Seth Godin on The Portfolio Life: hosted by Jeff Goins.

This is a brilliant interview with a couple of my favorite writers and entrepreneurs.

Four Things to Consider Before You Criticize Christian Films.

Nick McDonald generally explores the relationship between art and the gospel on his blog, ScribblePreach. This article captured a helpful insight into how we watch and critique movies, particularly Christian films.

An Interview with Papa Hemingway

If you’re a writer, you’ll love this interview with famed writer, Earnest Hemingway, published in the Paris Review.

Eleven Pastors That Encourage Me

I was reflecting on the shepherding ministry of a church elder this week, and was thinking about the pastor friends I have and their virtues that encourage me. I revisited this post and thought you might be encouraged—and challenged—by these thoughts too.

As always, your comments drive the conversation, so don’t be afraid to share your thoughts below. Inquiring minds want to know.

Happy Friday!

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About Scott Postma

Scott is a writer and teacher living in North Idaho. He loves teaching the Great Books, writing and blogging, and collecting more books than he'll ever read in a lifetime. You can subscribe to the tribe and follow him on Twitter, Facebook, and Google Plus.

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