The Problem with Confessing Our Sins

There are ultimately two ways we can handle our sins. The first is the way the Bible instructs us to do it: confess and forsake our sins as soon as we recognize them as such. Consider the various admonitions in the Bible relating to this way of handling sin:

“I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah” -Psalm 32:5

“And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” -Psalm 139:24

“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.” -Proverbs 28:13–14

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” -James 5:16

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” -1 John 1:9

“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.” -1 John 2:1–2

The problem with this biblical approach is that it is rather difficult in at least a few different ways. 

First, we will feel guilt and even shame that we did something that did not please the Lord. And, if we have to make that sin right by confessing to some other person that we have wronged them, that is even harder. We add shame to shame, plus a little embarrassment, and sometimes even some humiliation. 

Second, if there is restitution to be made (i.e., apologize, return a stolen item, pay off a debt, etc.) it adds an additional burden to our lives because of the sacrifice it will take to restore what we have damaged by our sin. I won’t go too far into this here, but imagine sinning in a certain way while you’re single that required you to make restitution for that sin when you got right with God after you married. Things get a little complicated when you have to take food off your family’s table to make things right with someone your family may not even know. I digress.

Third, once the sin has been confessed, we now have to put that sin to death. This is part of our repentance, to not only confess but also to forsake our sin. This means we are committing to never commit that sin again. This means we may even have to make adjustments in our living so as to prevent unnecessary temptations in an area where we are weak (Romans 13:14). But there is one thing for sure, dealing with sin the Bible way means we don’t just manage the sin from now on; it means we have to actually kill the sin, removing it from our lives forever. 

“For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” -Romans 8:13

There is another way to handle our sins, however.

And this way is much easier—though, admittedly, it doesn’t yield the same fruit in the end. That is something we can just deal with later, perhaps? ( See Hebrews 12:5-11 Cf. Matthew 7:21-23)

Instead of going the through the arduous process of confessing and forsaking our sin, we can simply change our definition of sin so that it allows for a broader definition of righteousness. (A similar, and more subtle, approach is to just reserve judgment about clear revelation in the name of taking the Matthew 7:1-2 high-road.)

This way, we can keep doing the same deed(s) as before, but without calling it sin. And if it’s not called sin, there is no guilt or shame associated with doing it and no embarrassment in needing to confess it. There is even an easy model we can follow by taking a cue from government. For example, when they want to drop the crime rate, they simply make more crimes legal. And, when they want to raise revenue in cases where it’s not legal for them to tax, they just add a fee. Certainly, we could learn a thing or two from their example.

Now, in order to really make this second approach work well for us, there are two things we’ll have to do. First, we have to realign our associations. That means we avoid people who believe the first way, the biblical way of handling sins, is the only way. Like Twitter and Facebook, we can just cancel those voices and remove any semblance of their influence from our lives. At the same time, we should also surround ourselves with people who agree with and will affirm our way of handling our sin. Doing it together will be quite effective in bolstering our confidence in our better approach.

Second, and finally, it will be really helpful for our cause if we retain convictions about certain sins other people commit, sins we don’t really struggle with—or at least sins people don’t know we struggle with—but that we still find offensive. That way, we can still appear pious in the biblical fashion when we point fingers of disgust and disappointment at other people when they sin in ways in which we most adamantly disapprove.

Ultimately, how we choose to handle sin is up to us; the choice is ours. And, I’ve noticed there are a lot of people choosing the second way. It’s hard to imagine that many people could be so wrong.